How to Get Your Groom Involved
Taun Henderson Photography

Hey grooms, we didn’t forget you! I know it seems you are forgotten in the wedding planning process but we have something for you. Well…’s really how to help your lovely bride get you involved in the wedding planning process. This lesson is all about peaking the groom’s interest in the wedding.

I’m happy to have a special guest blogger today, Mr. Celebrate aka my husband Coop giving us insight into how the mind of a groom works.  Our last Sunday School lesson for engaged couples is a two part lesson. Enjoy hearing from a man’s perspective.

My boyfriend isn't involved in the wedding
John Myers Photography

One of the greatest moments in my lifetime was the day I celebrated matrimony with my beautiful bride.  It is not surprising when a bride says her wedding day is/was the greatest day in her life.  It’s a day little girls have anticipated since childhood and as ladies yearned to treasure in adulthood.  On the other hand, it is a day most little boys have dreaded since childhood and as men sought to escape in adulthood.  Although these two opposing perspectives on marriage have existed since the beginning of mankind, they become one and of the same thought on a couple’s wedding day.  The ultimate goal of a bride and groom is to have a fun, memorable and stress-free wedding celebration.

Stress has gotten the best of many couples.  From the time of the engagement through the honey-moon, many couples experience the entire occasion stressed with little left to enjoy for the occasion.  Traditionally, the brunt of planning a wedding celebration falls on the shoulders of the bride.  So how can we reverse this trend?  1) hire a wedding planner; 2) delineate and assign tasks between the bride and groom; or 3) do both.

My vote is for #3!  According to a 2014 Chicago Tribune newspaper article, grooms’ responsibilities have always been narrowly defined, but are slowly changing.  So how can a bride get her groom involved?  That is the one million dollar question.  As your guest Sunday School author this week, I believe I can sum it up using three thoughts from a man’s perspective:

Desire: “Yes, I want to be involved… a certain degree.”

I wonder if this statement is a shocker to some brides.  Bottom line:  Once a man has committed to marrying his bride; providing, protecting and professing his love become his goals.  A man professes his love through actions and tangibles; emotions come second.  After a couple’s engagement, the groom’s first order of business is to make sure you are happy on your wedding day and thereafter.  While he may be hesitant to give you free reign, he gives you the necessary liberty and autonomy to make choices he believes will make you happy.

So many brides get caught up in planning THEIR big day; they forget this day becomes equally important to the groom.  Most grooms will not take the initiative unless you the bride invite him to do so.  He is careful not to step on your happiness by taking away what he believes is important to you. Get him involved, but do so in small chunks.  Don’t inundate your groom with a bunch of petty tasks early in the process – a big turn-off.  Believe me, he’ll understand as you get closer to the date, petty tasks are a necessary evil.  So brides, my challenge to you:  enjoy the excitement of being engaged, but once it wears down – get your groom involved in ways that play to his strengths and desires.

How to involve the groom in the wedding
C Roy Rap Lens Photography

Coop, thank you for giving us one of the D’s for this week lesson. Don’t forget to come back next week, to read part 2 which is the final lesson for this engagement season.