We continue with Part 2 of our Sunday School: Peaking The Groom’s Interest. Our guest blogger, Mr. Celebrate aka Coop is giving us insight into how the groom’s mind works. Last week, he touched on one of the three D’s (desire). Let’s continue with the final Sunday School lesson for engaged couples for this season.
Designate: “Tell me what you want, don’t tell me how to do it.”
Another way of saying this is, “Tell me where you want me to go, don’t tell me how to get there.” My wife tells me often, “You hate being told what to do”…….BINGO!! She is absolutely right. Brides, once you have developed a concept of your wedding or determined what you want (perhaps, through the help of a wedding planner), match what your groom loves to do to what needs to be done. For example, if he’s a social animal and loves to party, sounds like you have a lead for part of your reception.
As men, we love challenges that fit our strengths. We love to solve problems that we believe can’t be solved. It was once said, “the best way to get a man to do something, tell him he’s too old to do it”. Well, maybe you’re a young couple instead, but leverage this old adage by telling him many can’t do it. Help him visualize what you see as the end result and let him have at it. Don’t direct every step and you’ll be amazed at the final product – and he’ll feel like he had a part of the success of your wedding celebration.
Destiny: “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.”
This is a well-known quotation many who have played sports are accustomed to seeing. I recall taping this quote on the locker room wall right before going on the football field. Reading this quote right before competing was a part of my mental preparation for what I was about to encounter. Your groom needs that mental preparation to ready himself for the big wedding celebration. We tend to envision the celebration as a form of competition – win and succeed. So what does this mean to you as a bride? Your groom will not only seek to overcome his designated tasks, but little do you know, he will monitor the level of success of your tasks hoping to identify a problem you will allow him to fix.
A sure way to make your groom feel part of the process is to bring him your problems. In the famous book by John Gray, ‘Men are from Mars, Women Are From Venus’, he states that men want to prove their competence by achieving things themselves. He further suggests that men feel better by solving problems; conversely, women want to talk about their problems. Unfortunately this requires a competitive skill men have yet to master – listening! So brides, bring your wedding celebration problems to your groom; but here’s the secret. Let him know upfront you have a problem that you need him to solve….you immediately have his attention and you have him involved.
Brides, there is an abundance of information to planning your wedding celebration, unfortunately, it can be a bit overwhelming. I can only hope my insight into the mechanics of a groom’s mind helps you to get him involved. With just a vision and a little bit of knowing you and your groom’s desires, you can tap into the talents of a good wedding planning service like LeeHenry Events to get you where you want to go. Although some grooms may appear skeptical to get involved early on, know they trust you to include them. One thing is for sure, they can’t question your taste of choices – they ended up being one of them!
We appreciate Mr. Celebrate stopping by and sharing fabulous information on how to get the grooms involved in the wedding planning process.
This officially ends our Sunday school lesson for engaged couples series for this engagement season. Next week, I’ll do a recap but in the meantime, check out all the previous posts.